Mini roller coaster

While working in the ICN (intensive care nursery, where Aaron now resides) I always tell parents that it's like being on a roller coaster. You have up days and down days and some days you get a mix of both. Two steps forward, one step back. That's just how preemies work! Well, I'm getting a dose of that myself now. Aaron is by no means sick, nor is he even close to being small compared to other babies around him. With that said, he's my baby, he's not with me, he's not coming home with me today, and he's acting like a preemie. So I am bummed, upset, etc. etc. I don't know how preemie parents do it when their babies are in the unit for weeks and months. I don't want to know what that's like, but I know that I have the utmost empathy and respect for how well most keep it together. I know I have some former preemie moms that read this so I want people to know that I do know it cold be worse and that, in the end, he'll be fine. But again, he's my baby and it upsets me to have even the small roller coaster ride that he's having. So yeasterday he had a brady with stim. In ICN language, this means that his brain is a bit immature and he's not breathing right to sustain his heartrate, thus it drops (bradycardia) and he needs to be patted or jostled to remind him to breathe/wakeup. It happens often, usually before 34 weeks and the older a baby gets, they tend to outgrow it. So he had one yesterday and a few drifts that did not requite stimulation. Overnight they increased his oxygen back to 2L to see if that helped. He had another one overnight and a big one this morning. What this means is that we don't let babies go home for at least 5 days after a brady needing stim. So he'll be here for at least 5 more days, more if it keeps happening. I'm bummed. I want him home. I am glad he made it as long as he did inside of me, but I want Charlie to meet him and I want to start our family. I'm not good at waiting, never have been. I guess this is another life lesson for me. If anything, these experiences with my boys do give me great perspective for being a nurse in the ICN. That's all. He's still cute as can be and is great at nursing so far! I put up some new pics tomorrow!