Thursday, July 30, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Fun pics...
Here's a picture from yesterday...it started as tummy time/exercise time and he got tired of it and laid like this for 20 minutes watching Fraggle Rock with Charlie. Charlie decided he needed a toy while he watched TV (don't we all!) so he gave him his beloved "Red" the firetruck (from cars)...it's by his left knee but kind of blends in!
The boys watching TV together...
We're making progress...Aaron will stay propped like this for a minute or so now...he won't push up to get in this position but he'll stay propped like this rather than immediately flopping his head down.
Look at his silly hair...it's so patchy on the sides and so long on top and in the back...I call it his jew-fro-hawk...Thursday, July 23, 2009
Finally some pictures!
Charlie and his make-shift tool belt
Making funny faces at Aaron
"silly monster face"
My new favorite picture of him! Friday, July 17, 2009
Thoughts on life
I've been busy since I last posted. Mostly working. We are SLAMMED at work right now and there is alot of overtime to be had...so I am working it. Probably too much, but Alex is holding down things at home so I can work and sleep, work and sleep...This will allow us to build up something of a cushion to use while we are a single income again. We are working on some things on Alex's end, trying to see if he can qualify for unemployment again, thinking about applying for disability, etc...anything related to what happened with his former job, I've been asked to refrain from blogging about. Any questions asked about it or comments about it will have to be deleted until further notice. Thanks for understanding. I wish I could rant or vent about it all but it's best if I keep my mouth shut for now!
I am trying to keep things in perspective right now. As far as Aaron goes, I love him so much and I want him to be happy. I realize today, that he is happy. The past week or two or three, he is happier than he's ever been. I am sure i am totally jinxing myself right now, but he no longer has a "bad" time of the day...he eats, sleeps, plays a bit and smiles almost all the time. No more screaming, fussing...I haven't used the Baby Bjorn in forever. It's really great! So he is happy. Whatever all of this neurological workup shows or doesn't show, it doesn't matter. If he crawls a little later, walks later, whatever, it's okay...he's happy!
With Alex and his situation, we'll make it work. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason. They always do. I don't know what the reason is for all of this crap with his job and everything he's gone through with it and with our financial stresses...but it will work out somehow in the end. I can't see it yet, but I have faith that it will happen that way.
I was talking to a friend the other day, complaining that I really want things to just be settled. To know that we don't have any pressing plans that weekend, or to know that our bills will be paid no problem and we'll be able to have fun and relax and eat out, etc. I was telling her that the week Alex lost his job, I was thinking to myself (because it was a busy week), "I just need to get through till next week and it'll be easy for the rest of the summer"...then Alex was fired and I am working a ridiculous amount of nights in a row to keep us financial sound. So my friend reminded me that things are never settled. Even when things calm down, there's always something lurking around the corner, or things may still feel crazy even though compared to a week ago, they're not. I thought about this and realized how true that is.
I remember the month before my grandmother died was December and it was insane. I wasn't pregnant with Aaron yet, but was training for the marathon and was busy with life. January rolled around and at the end of a particularly stressful week I thought to myself..."once next week is here, it will be smooth sailing". I may have even posted that on the blog at one point that week. Two days later, Gram started having changes in her mental status and she died within a few days. It was an even busier week as I was back and forth spending time with her, working and Charlie was sick that week.
I can remember several examples of this where I looked into the near future...thinking about how great it would be to get to a certain day, where my responsibilities were less, and then all hell breaks loose and I am drowning in responsibility. That's life, that's part of being a grown-up. I wouldn't change being married, having my boys, my house, my dogs, my family if it meant I'd be less stressed. I need to remind myself of this more lately. Instead of looking to see when things will calm down, I need to take it day by day and enjoy the good parts of every day. I think, in a way,it's great that Alex and I are being tested like this already in our marriage. We work well together and we get through things with great collaboration. We've had alot of ups and downs in our 8 years together, and we've gotten through it all, usually with flying colors. That makes me feel good about us as a unit and I know that we'll all be stronger after all of this! Thanks for listening...I hope everyone has a great weekend!
I am trying to keep things in perspective right now. As far as Aaron goes, I love him so much and I want him to be happy. I realize today, that he is happy. The past week or two or three, he is happier than he's ever been. I am sure i am totally jinxing myself right now, but he no longer has a "bad" time of the day...he eats, sleeps, plays a bit and smiles almost all the time. No more screaming, fussing...I haven't used the Baby Bjorn in forever. It's really great! So he is happy. Whatever all of this neurological workup shows or doesn't show, it doesn't matter. If he crawls a little later, walks later, whatever, it's okay...he's happy!
With Alex and his situation, we'll make it work. I firmly believe that things happen for a reason. They always do. I don't know what the reason is for all of this crap with his job and everything he's gone through with it and with our financial stresses...but it will work out somehow in the end. I can't see it yet, but I have faith that it will happen that way.
I was talking to a friend the other day, complaining that I really want things to just be settled. To know that we don't have any pressing plans that weekend, or to know that our bills will be paid no problem and we'll be able to have fun and relax and eat out, etc. I was telling her that the week Alex lost his job, I was thinking to myself (because it was a busy week), "I just need to get through till next week and it'll be easy for the rest of the summer"...then Alex was fired and I am working a ridiculous amount of nights in a row to keep us financial sound. So my friend reminded me that things are never settled. Even when things calm down, there's always something lurking around the corner, or things may still feel crazy even though compared to a week ago, they're not. I thought about this and realized how true that is.
I remember the month before my grandmother died was December and it was insane. I wasn't pregnant with Aaron yet, but was training for the marathon and was busy with life. January rolled around and at the end of a particularly stressful week I thought to myself..."once next week is here, it will be smooth sailing". I may have even posted that on the blog at one point that week. Two days later, Gram started having changes in her mental status and she died within a few days. It was an even busier week as I was back and forth spending time with her, working and Charlie was sick that week.
I can remember several examples of this where I looked into the near future...thinking about how great it would be to get to a certain day, where my responsibilities were less, and then all hell breaks loose and I am drowning in responsibility. That's life, that's part of being a grown-up. I wouldn't change being married, having my boys, my house, my dogs, my family if it meant I'd be less stressed. I need to remind myself of this more lately. Instead of looking to see when things will calm down, I need to take it day by day and enjoy the good parts of every day. I think, in a way,it's great that Alex and I are being tested like this already in our marriage. We work well together and we get through things with great collaboration. We've had alot of ups and downs in our 8 years together, and we've gotten through it all, usually with flying colors. That makes me feel good about us as a unit and I know that we'll all be stronger after all of this! Thanks for listening...I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Busy weekend, but lots of fun!
This was a busy week for us at the Cohen house. Besides the unpleasantries mentioned in the previous post, we had a friend of mine visit from Arizona. Candace and Josh have been on a cross-country treck with their son Henry and stopped by our great city to visit for a couple of days. It was wonderful to have them here and Henry is just the cutest little guy ever! His vocabulary is amazing! I also threw a baby shower on Saturday for our friend's Dave and Mike who adopted baby Abigail. That was alot of fun and everyone reallyenjoyed themselves. Then on Sunday we headed out to Downingtown to swim at my parents' and have dinner. We have been busy!
Here's Aaron laughing at daddy...
Dave and Abigail
Henry and Charlie
Me and Aaron, Candace and Henry in front of the liberty bell
Candy, Aaron and Henry
Slepyhead milk face baby on tutu's shoulder
Charlie did so well at the pool on sunday. He loved getting dunked under and actually got the hang of holding his breath when he went under. He kept saying, "don't forget the breathe!" Then he actually jumped off the edge into Alex's arms. What a big boy! He also discovered that he could touch the bottom in the shallow end and insisted on walking back to the steps himself!
Aaron had his first dip in the pool and decided he'd rather stick to warm bathtubs!
chillin in the wagon
"sunning" himself
Here's Aaron laughing at daddy...
Dave and Abigail
Henry and Charlie
Me and Aaron, Candace and Henry in front of the liberty bell
Candy, Aaron and Henry
Slepyhead milk face baby on tutu's shoulder
Charlie did so well at the pool on sunday. He loved getting dunked under and actually got the hang of holding his breath when he went under. He kept saying, "don't forget the breathe!" Then he actually jumped off the edge into Alex's arms. What a big boy! He also discovered that he could touch the bottom in the shallow end and insisted on walking back to the steps himself!
Aaron had his first dip in the pool and decided he'd rather stick to warm bathtubs!
chillin in the wagon
"sunning" himselfAaron went to the cardiologist today (monday), as well as the neurologist. The cardiologist dd a thorough echocardiogram and really does not think that a vascular ring is anything to worry about. He thinks that his breathing and all of his other "issues" ar not related to anything cardiac. Hooray, one specialist to cross off our list of docs.
Then we went to neurology. The doctor was very nice and very thorough with Aaron. He agrees that he is hypotonic with motor delay. His reflexes are preserved so there does not seem to be a "neuromuscular" problem, just a muscular one. I found a great website that explains what the doc said very well. Basically there's a number of reasons for hypotonia...it may be something he will outgrow, it may not. We are slotted to have numerous bloodtests done to try and get some concrete answers, and also to see if there is a medicine or something that can be given to reverse the problem. There are so many possible reasons for hypotonia, and it may be that we never find the reason. But he'd like to try. We are going to opthamology to look for changes in his optic nerves that can give some clues as to what the neurologist should look for. I'm a little thrown back by all of this but I love Aaron madly and will do whatever i can to make it better for him.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Bad day in the Cohen house...
what a day thursday was...still is for me because I'm awake at work and won't sleep till Friday night...so Thursday is still going on for me! Hooray! Why was it such a bad day? Well, it started out with Aaron having an evaluation from early intervention. It's sort of a long story...and I didn't post anything about it until I knew if we were going to be needing the services or not...I wanted to wait and hear what the experts said.
It started a while ago...I noticed that Aaron was still a very floppy baby and needed lots of support when held. I started looking at pics of Charlie at the same age and realizing how little Aaron was doing in comparison. At Aaron's 4 month checkup, his pediatrician started asking me if he does this, no...does he do this, no...can he do this, no...that's kind of how our conversation went. So he did his exam and told me to take him to a neurologist because he was delayed and he was worried about his hypotonia (low muscle tone). I was upset...another Dr. appointment,a nother specialist, another referral to call in, another co-pay, etc. I made the neuro appointment (7/13/09) and mentioned all of this to Hallie's mom Abby. She suggested I call Child-link/Early intervention and get on the list for them to come and assess him. I didn't know I could do this, nor did I know that this service existed...but it does and the whole process was rather quick. So our formal evaluation was today, and the woman certainly feels that Aaron is delayed physically and that he is hypo tonic. She recommended that he receive PT services and the therapist should be calling us next week. So that started our day. Not a huge deal but I am upset about the whole thing. I want him to stop having doctor appointments, I am trying to cross things off my list of things to do, not add to it. But we'll do what he needs, and help him in any way we can so that he can play and develop appropriately for his age. Their goal is that he's no longer delayed at 2 years of age.
So then, we had a GI appointment. No big deal, just long and full of waiting. They changed his meds which makes me nervous...we have a good thing down now and I worry that changing what works will make it not work...but these are the GI "experts" so I am hoping they know what they are doing. The one med needs to be compounded so he won't get started on them till Saturday at the earliest.
So after several hours at CHOP, I picked up a very cranky Charlie from school and we headed home. I was getting the kids settled, trying to feed Aaron his cereal/fruit combo that he now loves and opens his mouth for...Charlie was freaking out, Aaron was screaming because I hadn't actually put any food in his mouth yet, and the phone rang. It was Alex...oh great, he gets to hear the chaos that is our life at 5pm every night. Our conversation went like this:
Me: "Hello"
Alex: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "ok, just a little overwhelmed with both kids freaking out, I need to make dinner and get ready for work still, oh and both kids are currently screaming, did I mention that?"
Alex: "It's about to get worse"
Me: "oh yeah, why, are you going to be late and I have to go to work late?"
Alex: "they let me go"
Me: "what do you mean, who let you go....oh shit, you're kidding me, why? When? How? WHAT?!"...now comes the crying, the total freakout.....
So yeah, the evening began with news that Alex lost his job again.
If anyone reading this wants to send Alex an encouraging comment or email or facebook message, I'm sure he would appreciate it...also if anyone knows of anyone hiring in the city who doesn't mind that he's incredibly hard working and talented, but visually impaired...please pass us the information!
It started a while ago...I noticed that Aaron was still a very floppy baby and needed lots of support when held. I started looking at pics of Charlie at the same age and realizing how little Aaron was doing in comparison. At Aaron's 4 month checkup, his pediatrician started asking me if he does this, no...does he do this, no...can he do this, no...that's kind of how our conversation went. So he did his exam and told me to take him to a neurologist because he was delayed and he was worried about his hypotonia (low muscle tone). I was upset...another Dr. appointment,a nother specialist, another referral to call in, another co-pay, etc. I made the neuro appointment (7/13/09) and mentioned all of this to Hallie's mom Abby. She suggested I call Child-link/Early intervention and get on the list for them to come and assess him. I didn't know I could do this, nor did I know that this service existed...but it does and the whole process was rather quick. So our formal evaluation was today, and the woman certainly feels that Aaron is delayed physically and that he is hypo tonic. She recommended that he receive PT services and the therapist should be calling us next week. So that started our day. Not a huge deal but I am upset about the whole thing. I want him to stop having doctor appointments, I am trying to cross things off my list of things to do, not add to it. But we'll do what he needs, and help him in any way we can so that he can play and develop appropriately for his age. Their goal is that he's no longer delayed at 2 years of age.
So then, we had a GI appointment. No big deal, just long and full of waiting. They changed his meds which makes me nervous...we have a good thing down now and I worry that changing what works will make it not work...but these are the GI "experts" so I am hoping they know what they are doing. The one med needs to be compounded so he won't get started on them till Saturday at the earliest.
So after several hours at CHOP, I picked up a very cranky Charlie from school and we headed home. I was getting the kids settled, trying to feed Aaron his cereal/fruit combo that he now loves and opens his mouth for...Charlie was freaking out, Aaron was screaming because I hadn't actually put any food in his mouth yet, and the phone rang. It was Alex...oh great, he gets to hear the chaos that is our life at 5pm every night. Our conversation went like this:
Me: "Hello"
Alex: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "ok, just a little overwhelmed with both kids freaking out, I need to make dinner and get ready for work still, oh and both kids are currently screaming, did I mention that?"
Alex: "It's about to get worse"
Me: "oh yeah, why, are you going to be late and I have to go to work late?"
Alex: "they let me go"
Me: "what do you mean, who let you go....oh shit, you're kidding me, why? When? How? WHAT?!"...now comes the crying, the total freakout.....
So yeah, the evening began with news that Alex lost his job again.
If anyone reading this wants to send Alex an encouraging comment or email or facebook message, I'm sure he would appreciate it...also if anyone knows of anyone hiring in the city who doesn't mind that he's incredibly hard working and talented, but visually impaired...please pass us the information!
Monday, July 6, 2009
4th of July weekend in Dewey beach, DE = fun times had by all!
Aaron is getting bigger and stronger every day. His beautiful head of thick hair is starting to fall out and some blondish hair is growing in underneath. Right now he has kind of a curly mow hawk look going on! He's on a great "schedule" right now which has worked nicely for us...he takes 6oz by bottle ever 3 hours or so...he gets one meal of cereal plus a fruit or vegetable once a day (he's taking it great and loves it!) and he's asleep by 6pm and wakes up around 5:30 or 6 am! Charlie had that type of schedule and it was so nice!
So we headed back to Dewey Beach for the July 4th weekend. My parents were there and were such a huge help! Between keeping Charlie occupied or watching Aaron so I could do things, they were awesome! Silly me forgot charlie's swim trunks (I even had a cute flag pattern pair) so he wore shorts on the beach...oh well, next year! He did lots of sand castle building. I taught him how to make drippy castles.
Aaron slept in a little tent on the beach, woke up to eat and then went back to sleep. He was a dream!
Charlie playing his own made-up "hockey" game. That's what he called it but it was really a type of juggling sort of with the paddle balls. He was amused which was the most important part!
Aaron on July 4th (also his 4 month b-day!) He had his 4 month check-up and he weighs 14lb 4oz. Charlie at the same age was 16lb 10 oz and 1/2 inch shorter! I know you are not supposed to compare but wow!
Charlie "digging for dinosaur food". He certainly has an imagination!
Charlie and Gampa in the water...my poor dad was wiped out after hanging onto all 36+ pounds of Charlie!
Chowing on some planet ice water ice. He was psyched to have his own cup this time!
Aaron's sleeping quarters...
Sleeping baby... 
Singing and dancing to Marvin Gay with Gampa
He's so stinkin cute! Wednesday, July 1, 2009
"I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends"
Oh, where to start! It's been a long week so far and I'm only going into Wednesday! Alex made it home from Memphis on sunday. He had a good time and did great with his vision despite being "alone" (not with anyone who really knows how or when to help him), and despite many situations where he was totally unable to see because of lighting, etc. He did great and had fun but was very tired because his vision (or lack there of) was something he always thought about, worried about, etc. I was glad to have him home but had to go into work sunday night after having him home for only a few hours. I did a few loads of laundry and then went to work.
Monday was a long day. Aaron had a really bad day...nonstop fussiness and crying and even he Baby bjorn didn't calm him down. He went from napping quite nicely at the beach to barely sleeping at all on monday and screaming so much that I was really at my wits end. I had a total mental breakdown (the lack of sleep didn't help) and I freaked out because I had only worked one of three nights in a row and was already losing it! He's such an unpredictable baby and I cannot count on him to sleep during the day, or even be pretty chill so that I can snooze. I feel like he's either great or terrible...there's no in between.
Luckily my mom is the most amazing person ever and she calmed me down, reassured me that I am not weak (I just have a really tough kid), and encouraged me to get some help. I'm so used to being able to d it all, and do it all without batting an eyelash. I take on too much, but I thrive under that kind of pressure. And although I hate chaos, I love to make order out of chaos. Aaron is totally throwing me for a loop. Just when I have him "figured out", he has a terrible day and I am convinced that he hates me...or hates how I do things. I am having a hard time with the fact that I constantly second guess everything I do with him. I'm not confident like I was with Charlie. Does that make me a bad mom? I realized monday that I spend alot of time just trying to keep Aaron from freaking out. I do love the times that he smiles at me and coos and babbles...but boy was monday a tough day!
So the whole point of this long babbling nonsense post is that I came into work monday night (still shaken and teary and on the verge of losing it) and asked a co-worker if she would be interested in watching Aaron for a few hours the next day. Being the awesome friend she is, she came over tuesday for 4 hours, all of which I used to sleep. There were other things I needed to do but sleep is something that was most needed. I insisted on paying her, she finally took the money, but boy did she help me out. I may do this more often (my mom really wants me to have help regularly...we'll see if that happens), but that really was the best 4 hours of sleep I have had in a while. I felt like a new person when I woke up.
Aaron had a better day today overall. He's in this pattern now where he sleeps from 5:30pm on and we wake him around 10pm, before we go to bed, feed him, and he sleeps till almost 6pm. Not bad! It's nice that we'll be able to relax in the evenings, maybe have a nice dinner and watch a movie when I am home. Charlie also gets more attention like this which makes him happy!
I don't really know what the point of this post was/is. I'm having to admit defeat here...I cannot do it all...at least not right now with my kiddo the way he is. I told my mom that I know he's meant to teach me something...hopefully I'm open to learning! I'll post some pics tomorrow that I took of both boys in their Graceland T-shirts that Alex brought home...too cute! If anyone actually read this, thanks for tolerating my rants!
Monday was a long day. Aaron had a really bad day...nonstop fussiness and crying and even he Baby bjorn didn't calm him down. He went from napping quite nicely at the beach to barely sleeping at all on monday and screaming so much that I was really at my wits end. I had a total mental breakdown (the lack of sleep didn't help) and I freaked out because I had only worked one of three nights in a row and was already losing it! He's such an unpredictable baby and I cannot count on him to sleep during the day, or even be pretty chill so that I can snooze. I feel like he's either great or terrible...there's no in between.
Luckily my mom is the most amazing person ever and she calmed me down, reassured me that I am not weak (I just have a really tough kid), and encouraged me to get some help. I'm so used to being able to d it all, and do it all without batting an eyelash. I take on too much, but I thrive under that kind of pressure. And although I hate chaos, I love to make order out of chaos. Aaron is totally throwing me for a loop. Just when I have him "figured out", he has a terrible day and I am convinced that he hates me...or hates how I do things. I am having a hard time with the fact that I constantly second guess everything I do with him. I'm not confident like I was with Charlie. Does that make me a bad mom? I realized monday that I spend alot of time just trying to keep Aaron from freaking out. I do love the times that he smiles at me and coos and babbles...but boy was monday a tough day!
So the whole point of this long babbling nonsense post is that I came into work monday night (still shaken and teary and on the verge of losing it) and asked a co-worker if she would be interested in watching Aaron for a few hours the next day. Being the awesome friend she is, she came over tuesday for 4 hours, all of which I used to sleep. There were other things I needed to do but sleep is something that was most needed. I insisted on paying her, she finally took the money, but boy did she help me out. I may do this more often (my mom really wants me to have help regularly...we'll see if that happens), but that really was the best 4 hours of sleep I have had in a while. I felt like a new person when I woke up.
Aaron had a better day today overall. He's in this pattern now where he sleeps from 5:30pm on and we wake him around 10pm, before we go to bed, feed him, and he sleeps till almost 6pm. Not bad! It's nice that we'll be able to relax in the evenings, maybe have a nice dinner and watch a movie when I am home. Charlie also gets more attention like this which makes him happy!
I don't really know what the point of this post was/is. I'm having to admit defeat here...I cannot do it all...at least not right now with my kiddo the way he is. I told my mom that I know he's meant to teach me something...hopefully I'm open to learning! I'll post some pics tomorrow that I took of both boys in their Graceland T-shirts that Alex brought home...too cute! If anyone actually read this, thanks for tolerating my rants!
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