Incompetence...

Well, I had a doctor's appointment today, annual GYN visit...I know, very exciting and definitely something I should "blog" about, but there's a reason for its mention, and for the title of the post. So I mentioned that we are hoping to start trying to become pregnant again in June, after I turn the dreaded 30!!!!!!!!!! So we began discussing what happened with my pregnancy with Charlie, everything's great and then bam, dilated to 4cm at 29 weeks. I asked her what my placenta showed, if there was any reason for the complications, etc. She said that I am to be considered someone with an incompetent cervix. Well, really! They couldn't call it something nicer? There's something really weird about that term...but besides that, she started talking about all of the precautions she plans to take, progesterone injections, bedrest, out of work early, frequent digital exams (yikes!)....I guess I kind of thought all of that would come up but also hoped that she would say, it's all fine, just a fluke, you'll have no problems carrying a full term baby. Well, it's the price you pay for the love of your child! It was just kind of a strange visit, as I was excited about telling her our plans, and excited that the next time I saw her would be to confirm a pregnancy...now I'm kind of afraid to do it again. I know we will, I really want one more baby, but I feel less adequate now! If anyone reading this has any experience with taking progesterone shots with this problem, please let me know. She said it's something they would start right away and obviously I'll do my research about it but wondered if anyone else had any experience with it. Now I'm off to my family doctor to try and get some meds to help my nasty cold go away...I never go to the doctor for medication...you know I'm feeling bad today! Hope everyone else is healthy and avoiding the nasty winter bugs...especially all my preemie friends!

lots to say...

Charlie has really been talking so much. It is very exciting to be able to agree or disagree with him and really mean it! He used to babble alot, in fact it sounded like he was speaking another language (think: Mandarin Chinese), and I would nod and agree but really have no idea what he was saying. Today, I picked him up from school and we walked up our steps and Sidney (our dog) wasn't there to welcome us home. Charlie looked at me and very clearly said, "Where ninny go?" He calls her ninny. I was so shocked and excited I couldn't help but smile ear to ear. Then, as I was getting ready to leave for work, he saw my fleece that I wear to work and pointed and said "that mommy coat." Well, yes it is! I am loving the fact that I can understand him more. With it, also comes him telling me "NO" very forcefully or in a very whiny voice at times, he also says "mine" about every five minutes. But I do love to hear him talk! We go back for our 6 week follow-up on Monday with ENT to see how it all looks. We'll also talk about the need for speech therapy although I'm guessing he's making enough progress to not need it. We'll see.

I am still running my butt off trying to prepare for this marathon. Last week was a tough week. I barely ran any miles and could not motivate myself to do anything. I am thinking it was my week of mental downtime after Grandma's death and funeral. I kept my miles up through that whole time and even ran both days in California. After all of that, I guess I needed to chill. Although I've read that "marathon runners" never take breaks, they keep up training through thick and thin, I am not really thinking of myself as a "marathon runner." I am someone who will hopefully finish a marathon in less than five hours. Big accomplishment yes, but I don't need to beat myself up over the need for a break. This week, I am back to running strong. Sunday I hope to run 15 miles. We'll see! Pray for good weather from the running Gods!

Alex has had some big stuff happening. He has started using a cane to walk home with at night. For those of you who don't know, Alex has RP (http://www.blindness.org/retinitis-pigmentosa.asp) which is a congenital, degenerative, retinal disease. He's going blind, and sees the worst in dim or no light. He's come a long way in trying to deal with this as he was only diagnosed about ten years ago. I also have been trying to figure out how to "help" so I am on the Philadelphia chapter of the Foundation Fighting Blindness, and we had our first ever "Vision Walk" in Philadelphia this past October where we raised $86,000 for research. I give Alex so much credit for doing as much as he does being legally blind. This has progressed faster than we expected and he's really dealing with it well. I suggested the cane about a year ago as I get nervous with him walking to and from work by himself. I worry that he'll bump into construction on the sidewalk, or fall in a hole, or have a run-in with a person who doesn't realize what his problem is (his eyes look normal and he may seem arrogant bumping into people on the street). He hated the idea of a cane, still does, but I think realized that it was in his best interest that he's safe. So we made an appointment with the Bureau of Visual Services and he was declared legally blind and a nice woman came out to our house last week with his cane.

"The white cane is just one of many tools used by people with vision loss – from toddlers to seniors - to assist with safety, mobility and independence. The cane is used to check for objects in a person’s path, changes in the walking surface (from cement to grass, for example) and to check for dangers like steps and curbs. A secondary function is identification: recognized around the world, the white cane clearly tells other pedestrians and drivers that the user is a person with vision loss. There are three different types of canes that someone with vision loss might choose to use: identification, support and long canes. Identification canes are lightweight and can often be folded or collapsed to fit in a purse or knapsack when not in use. They are used to help with depth perception, and finding things like stairs and curbs."

He's a natural with it (according to this nice lady) and although it is very hard for Alex to wrap his head around the idea of using a cane, he's doing well. He practices walking home with it since him "commute" is familiar. She will come for 5 more weeks to work with him using it in more unfamiliar circumstances, and he should be good to go. Luckily he's encountered numerous people offering to help him cross the streets or telling him that the coast is clear. He feels like he "sees" better already just being a bit more confident. I am really proud of him. He's really taking this in stride and coping well. I hope he continues to feel even more confident using his cane and realizes how much more independent he can be. On a funny note, when Alex first started practicing with his cane in the house, Charlie went up to him, grabbed the end of it and started to lead him around the house...our very own seeing eye toddler!

Sleeping...

Just a fun picture of my boy sleeping last night...

I Love NY

Alex and I returned from our fantastic weekend in NYC. We had a great time but realized that we'd go broke living there...everything's just that much more expensive, especially alcohol and food, two of our more favorite things! We stayed in a very chic and sleek hotel that had a large full length window from the shower into the sleeping area...interesting and a little more personal than even we're used to! The play was really great, so funny and so well done. Young Frankenstein is one of Alex's favorite movies so he really liked the play...and we had great seats so he was able to see most of it! We had a yummy dinner and then we actually hung out at the bar at the hotel which turns into a dance club with lines and lists at night. As hotel guest we get first choice to go in and we danced and drank and stayed up later than any of us are used to (excluding night shift for me!). We were there with his brother (Sam) and sister-in-law (Kim) and friends from Massachusetts (Jeff and Allison) and a friend who resides in NYC (Scott). Good times had by all. Here's some pics:

Charlie had a fun night and days with his bubby and zayda and last night, after returning from NY and after he took a nice long nap in his own bed, we drove to Downingtown to visit his Tutu's (my parents) for dinner. It was a busy weekend! Here's some more pics:

Fun times...

Charlie is doing very well and has been healthy and enjoying life all week! We went to the Please Touch Museum this morning and he had a blast. They have a new area with a house that has cleaning stuff and a washing machine and dryer. He loved sweeping and putting clothes in the wash...that's my boy! He also liked the goggles he wore while "hammering" some "nails" into a toy truck. This time at the supermarket, he chose honey and frozen steaks. Hmmm, must be his dad's tastes! Alex and I are off to NYC this weekend for his birthday present (tickets to see Young Frankenstein). Charlie will be staying with Bubby and Zayda overnight. They will have tons of fun I'm sure! Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Back on Philadelphia time

My parents and I made it back from sunny and warm California, finally! Seems every plane landing in Orange County was in need of maintenance so we ended up red-eyeing it through Denver and got home at 6am. Not fun, but fun to be home! California was uneventful, got to see alot of family that we don't normally see...kind of a family reunion of sorts. The service was nice and the get together afterwards was very nice. The weather, as I mentioned, was beautiful and it was funny b/c I ran Saturday and Sunday mornings, and I was so happy to run in shorts and t-shirt while the people I ran past, who are from CA I presume, were running in pants, long sleeve shirts, winter hat, one guy even wore gloves. Perspective is a funny thing!

I got some nice photo ops, top is with my dad, here is with my mom. My mom is really doing so well through all of this, considering she nursed her mom for the past 7 years and now she's gone...she really is a rock and I am so proud of her. My dad was her rock, punching bag, sounding board, through all of this and so I am grateful and proud of him as well. We stayed at his parent's house while in CA, so I got to spend some quality time with the other set of Gparents as well!

I came home to a happy boy this morning. He had a fabulous weekend with his dad who kept him busy with play dates, and lunches and breakfasts out on the town. Charlie decided that it would be a good idea to brush his teeth (before I took over) while sitting on his giant lion. He then pointed to, and named all of the lion's body parts. I'm such a proud mommy. He is making up for lost food last week and has been eating like a horse. He apparently begged Alex for an apple tonight (I'm at work) before he went to bed. Alex gave in and Charlie chowed the whole thing down in no time, after eating a whole bowl of pasta and apple sauce for dinner less than two hours earlier. That's the boy I know!

This picture shows what we spent alot of time doing today, sitting on the potty and reading books! He's gone on the potty several times, the first time being when he was 16 months old. Nothing consistent, but whenever I change his diaper, I ask if he wants to sit on the potty. The last two months, the answer is always no. I'm not going to force the issue, so I let it go. Today I asked assuming he'd say no, but he nodded yes with such force, I was really excited. He sat there for a long time, reading books, pointing out Elmo and the fish and ball that is all over the small padded seat that sits in the big seat, but no potty was ever made. I was proud that he at least was interested in sitting still for so long trying it. He sat on it about four times through the day at his own request...we'll see! I'll definitely take this picture out for the first girlfriend though! Hope everyone had a great weekend. Lets pray for some warmed weather!

Happy Homecoming

I had a busy night at work last night (wednesday) and came home to a happy baby having a blast with his daddy. My favorite kind of morning! Charlie was playing his guitar (Hanukkah gift from me and Alex) and singing the "mommy song" which goes like this: "mommy, mommy, momma, mommy......" to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star. Melts my heart! He was also very excited about climbing on daddy who was all sweaty from running on the treadmill earlier in the morning. Apparently he doesn't mind the sweat!

I went running today in the snow which was fun. It was snowing, but there was no snow on the ground which was nice but it was still muddy and messy, and cold! It took three separate alarms to rouse me from my peaceful post-work slumber...yes three alarms, but I did get up! I ran seven miles and it was actually pretty nice and calm running amidst a winter storm, minus the two times that cars skidded out and I swore they would jump the curb and run me over on Kelley drive. The only bad part of the run was a goose that thought I ran too close to him (her?) and honked at me and chased me. It only really followed me a few feet but it felt like a mile or so! I run through packs of geese frequently on my runs, and although I'm not a huge fan of birds in general, I don't fear the geese too much. Until today. I worry that my dislike of birds will turn into a fear similar to my fear of clowns...very serious fear. Then I will have to find a goose free running route. Hmmm, maybe therapy will help me.

Anyway, I am off to California tomorrow for Grandma's funeral. Leaving my boys at home alone. Alex has a fun weekend lined up for he and Charlie, including lots of music playing on the guitar and piano, and some staying up later than usual. I will pretend I don't know anything and hope they have fun!

Charlie has turned into a little parrot who likes to say everything we say. It's amazing to see how his vocabulary has picked up so much in two weeks since his tubes! We went to the doctor's yesterday (Wednesday) for his "monthly check-up until his asthma is under control". He checked out well, we don't have to go back for 3 months at this point. Seems the increase in his steroid concentration has really made a difference. Once the warm weather hits, we may be able to get rid of some meds or go back down on the concentration of steroid. He lost 1 and 1/2 pounds in two weeks which I expected due to his refusal to eat anything for almost 5 days. He's still stocky and robust but is down to his weight that he was when he was 19 months old...30 pounds! Still heavy but the waist on his jeans are a little looser which has to be more comfortable for him! I'll miss him this weekend but look forward to having all of this funeral stuff behind me! Take care all.....

Feeling better and better!

Charlie is doing great. Feeling so much better, and was allowed to return to school today! This morning was great... he's been talking so much and I finally realized what something means that he's been saying over and over! He's been saying "alli" since his tubes and I was just excited that he was using the "L" sound, but occasionally he would say it repeatedly. I couldn't for the life of me figure out what he wanted to tell me. This morning when he got up, I had to coax him out of bed as usual (he would prefer nothing more than to spend all morning in bed, cuddled up but having me or Alex at his side talking to him). So I informed him that not only could he go back to school, but that his bestest friend ever (Alexandra whom we all call Alex) was going to start there today. He immediately jumped up and said "Alli, Alli". Apparently he was calling for his friend and I was too dense to realize it all along! He's gone a while without seeing her because of his various contagiousness issues. I also told him that Andrew, her baby brother would be there too. And he said "Adrew bebe". I almost fell over. It was awesome. Below is a picture of Alex and Charlie at the beach this summer:

Pictorial

This is Charlie and his obsession with my dish towels and his "Cars" slippers. He wants to wear them everywhere!

Feeling under the weather but attemtping to be cute for mommy!

Watching his newly discovered favorite, Robin Hood...one of my favorites as well! We actually watched part of the Jungle Book yesterday and he said to me, "mommy, Tiger" when the tiger came on...I was beaming!

So proud of his new foot coverings!

Grandma's obituary

DailyLocal.com

Whooping it up with Pertussis

What a week this has been...Charlie is sick again. Big surprise I know! It started Monday with high fever and conjunctivitis. Grandma was getting sick, I was working mon and tues nights, and I was in disbelief that he could really be getting sick at a time like this...little did I know what it was going to turn into! So long story short, after going to the peds and discovering on tues that he had a nasty double ear infection (despite tubes), we got a call from our cousins in South Carolina (see Waterloo revisited) that their adorable little Emma was found to have whooping cough (Pertussis) and that we should look out for symptoms in our kids. I ignored it, he was coughing but certainly not "barking" and I had enough with my Grandma and him already being sick. My sister-in-law did some reading and called to tell me that the milder symptoms (as would occur in a kid who's already been vaccinated, aka Charlie) are exactly what Charlie has: high fever, persistent hacking cough, no appetite, sluggishness, nasty ear infection, runny nose... So we went back to the peds, yes he has it, another antibiotic (this makes four now with ear, eye, and two orals), and I have to be on antibiotics before I can return to work (I work with little preemies), Alex needs to be on it because he actually has cold symptoms, and it was just a fiasco!

I am waiting for the day when we only go to the peds for well visits. I feel like I spend more time finding a pharmacy that has the antibiotic he needs, calling docs for appointments, or just sitting in the waiting room. I know that he is healthy compared to other kids with worse ailments, but this week has seriously felt too overwhelming. Yesterday was the viewing in PA for Grandma. It was beautiful and so many friends came to visit. We had a nice get together at her favorite bar/restaurant afterwards and we all raised a glass to the spunkiest 89 year old you would ever meet. On Friday I will fly out to California with my parents for her full funeral and burial in Orange County. It should be emotional as our entire family will be there. Last week, I was looking forward to this week because it was supposed to be calm and easy and full of free time for me. I'm afraid to look forward to this week but it has to be better!

Goodbye Grandma

My grandma died today. She was a few months shy of 90 years old. I am so sad, I cannot believe that I won't see her again. I feel like I'm in some strange dream. She was on hospice care and has been living with my parents for just short of 7 years and on Saturday she was at my sister's baby shower, drinking champagne, asking for more, and eating little finger sandwiches. Today she died. We were with her yesterday while she was awake and eating like a horse. She said goodbye to everyone and only later realized why she was saying goodbye. She fell asleep at 2am and never came to. We sat with her today from 8:30 until she passed at 5:40pm, leaving only to use the bathroom or get a snack. It was peaceful at the end and she finally looked comfortable. I had my hand on her heart and literally felt it stop beating. I miss her so much already. She was old, yes. She was on hospice, yes. But the older she got, the more she wanted to do. Her mind was still so sharp and she loved to do nothing more than go to the bar on friday nights with my parents and see her friends and have her "pink drink". I will miss her spunky self so much. It's good to know that she is comfortable and finally able to see my grandpa after ten years.

Halfway there...

Today was very exciting. I am six weeks into a 22 week training for the marathon I am signed up for. Before I started this, 10 miles (Broad Street Run) was the longest I had run. Today, I ran 13 miles in 132 minutes! I am so excited. Sore and a little tired, yes, but really excited. The weather was perfect (60 and sunny, no wind).

I read two books on marathon training and it seems that consistency is the key...running frequently with gradual increases in the mileage. With working nights and only having 3 child free days a week, I was worried I wouldn't be able to do this, but I am making it work! Last week was a low week in how many miles I ran due to Charlie's tubes, three nights of work in a row, and freezing weather on the days I had to run. We have a nice treadmill in our basement but I can run 7 miles tops on it, and it's like pulling teeth. The whole time I'm watching a movie on the computer and thinking about the laundry upstairs, the bathrooms that need to be cleaned, then the phone rings, or the doorbell rings...I don't do well with it.

Running outside is like mental therapy to me. My favorite is 5-6 miles outside. I can clear my head, feel good about what I am doing, and it doesn't kill me! 13 miles hurts a little but it should get easier. According to what I've read, 20 miles is the max you should run during training. If you run marathons alot, you can run more, but for someone like me who's not a novice but far from an experienced runner, I am running with the goal of finishing in less than 5 hours. Anytime I get complacent and don't feel like going for a long run, I think, "once I run the marathon, I can turn 30 (yuck!) and then try having baby number 2 (yeah!)". It's a great motivator actually! We also just booked a vacation for mid-may that we will be taking sans Charlie. It's a cruise out of San Juan, PR that goes to 6 Caribbean ports and we have a balcony room...heaven! One more thing to keep me running!

Accidents do happen

We went to a birthday party at Gymboree in KOP on Sunday. Charlie had a great time and then about ten minutes into the event, he was playing basketball and tripped himself up on a ball and fell face forward, full force, nothing else to cushion the fall, onto his face. As I was standing right there, I picked him up and saw that his whole mouth was FILLED with blood. Apparently I was calm but all I could think was that he'd knocked his teeth out, bit his tongue off, etc. I know, very dramatic, but it's hard to keep your mind from racing. He calmed down rather quickly, we soaked the blood up with paper towels and saw that he had left a nice imprint of his teeth on his tongue and the inside of his bottom lip. You could see the teeth on the outside of the lip too but it was bruised not broken through.

He's fine, he held onto me for a while, wiped snot and blood and tears all over a my new sweater (thank God it was red!), and eventually played some more. I hate to have him get hurt. I know that's what being a toddler is all about but really, it's no fun. Fortunately I go into "nurse" mode and knowing that it's not life threatening, I can keep him calm and not freak out until after he's over it and off playing. But with the asthma and tubes and everything, you'd think he'd catch a break! Anyway, we managed to get some cute shots of him playing post-accident.

Charlie 2007

I decided to post some pictures of charlie over the past 12 months to give everyone an idea of how much he's changed. He's always been big and looked "old" for his age but he is now a little boy, no longer a baby. Enjoy the pictures!

11 months



12 months 13 months

14 months

15 months

16 months

17 months

18 months

19 months

20 months

21 months

22 months

23 months

24 months

Fun at the Please Touch Museum...

We went to the PTM (Please Touch Museum) today and boy did Charlie have fun. We got there bright and early so he got to explore before too many kids came and we left right around lunch when everyone was getting there. He went shopping for groceries...

Notice all of the peanut butter! Then he crashed a bunch of boats into one another while it rained from a cloud on the ceiling (real water, and thunder noises too!)...

Then he ran around some more and drove a Trolly and a bus...

It was alot fo fun! Now he's sleeping and I'm relaxing!